You can’t believe who you are seeing in the restaurant. It’s a dream come true. Your heart is noticeably beating faster. You find it hard to breathe. You take several gulps of ice water or drink while watching your favorite actor across the room. Your hand shakes. You clutch your neck with nervous energy. It’s him! Your favorite celebrity!
Most celebrities want to be treated like everybody else. They see their work as their career. Perhaps that is naivety on their part. Still, many get tired of constantly meeting tongue-tied, fawning people who put them on a pedestal. They have problems just like we do, and they sometimes want to be seen as regular people.
New celebrities or those with new found celebrity status try to get used to being seen as a different person. They can be as nervous as you. They get overwhelmed with having so many strangers walk up to them, gushing and shoving paper, pen and napkins in their face for an autograph. One day the star was avoiding her bill collectors on the telephone. She could do her grocery shopping and no one knew who she was. The next day she has more money than ever in life and everyone wants to be her friend.
It’s okay to approach or meet a celebrity. We are a celebrity obsessed society. Whether an actor, musician, book author or sports person, they understand that their public status comes at a price. Many are gracious and will give you an autograph or take a picture with you if they are not in a hurry. There are however, some guidelines to consider. You don’t want to look or act like a fool in front of a celebrity.
Act Calm - Don’t jump on and attack your favorite star. You’ll scare her. You could hurt him. Don’t point your finger in the star’s face. Don’t behave like a wild eyed lunatic. You could cause the celebrity to buck and run, or put his or her bodyguard on you.
Try Not to Cry. You do it because you are totally overwhelmed by breathing the same air as your favorite celebrity, singer, actor, or sports player. It’s real creepy though, to have your favorite star look at you crying silently, tears rolling down your face. What is the person supposed to do? What is the star suppose to think? Get a grip and act like you’ve seen a star or two before.
Don’t Gawk and Stare. I once met a celebrity couple who sat at my table during a cruise. I knew that I knew them, but couldn’t remember where. I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t look away. I was sitting right next to the wife. During the table conversation I did peep and take sideway glances at them. Where did I remember them? From what show?
I was lucky that they were talking to a friend of theirs at the table. It gave me some time to get a grip on myself once I was able to recognize who they were. I tried to calm down, not saying anything or adding to the conversation. My stomach was in knots.
Back in our room, my roommate apologized. “I noticed you were looking at so-and-so. I should have told you that they were assigned to our table.” Once she said their names, I immediately recognized them. It was only because I met them out of their usual television element that had me confused. After that, during meals I acted like a normal person, and found them both to be very nice.
Don’t Gush.Many celebrities, especially those in the business for a number of years, see what they do as their career. They work hard at their craft and like to be appreciated. But, many don’t want to be gushed over for doing their job well. It makes them uncomfortable. It also gets old after many years in the business. Others are embarrassed by public displays of adulation. Try to tone down your hero worship.
Note: Do you know how many times a celebrity has heard, “Do you know who you are?” or "Do I know you?" Please practice for the possibility of a future encounter with a star by thinking about what you would say. It will help you not to look like a fool.
Don’t Try to Pitch Your Personal Project.Many people want to be an actor, comedian, screenwriter, etc. When you meet a celebrity, don’t turn your encounter into an impromptu business meeting. Don’t pull out the screenplay you keep in your back pack for just such an occasion. Don’t shove your demo CD at them as they are trying to get to their plane on time. I guarantee you that he or she will be gracious. Still, whatever you push on them will not be well received.
Be Polite.You are not entitled to an autograph on demand. It’s a courtesy that celebrities do to show their appreciation to their fans. Sometimes they may be late for the airport, or have to get to a meeting on time. They may be having a business meeting with their manager at a restaurant, or talking to an old friend. If a star stopped for every one who asked for an autograph, he or she would be late every where. Ask. If refused, be gracious and walk away. Be grateful you had the chance to meet.
Be Considerate. Ask if you can Take a Picture.Given the abusive behavior of the paparazzi, they would appreciate your asking for a photograph. The celebrity may even pose with you. Do not demand an autograph while he or she is running through an airport or eating at a restaurant. Try to put yourself in their place. You’re in town for one day to visit your sister, and take her out to lunch. While you’re talking and catching up on family business, two or three people come up to you and ask for an autograph. You wouldn’t want to stop eating several times during a meal to write your name on a piece of paper. Ask to take a picture before the star leaves.
Be Respectful. The wives of celebrities complain that one of their biggest pet peeves is how fans almost push them off their chair or on the ground trying to get to their husband. If I had a dollar for every time I was out with a local or national celebrity and got pushed or shoved aside, I would be very rich. Respect not just the celebrity, but the person with the celebrity.
For the most part, celebrities do appreciate their fans. They want to talk to you. Still, they are people. They want to be respected. They usually don’t like strangers jumping on them. Try to contain your enthusiasm. If you don’t act like a fool, the star may happily respond to your requests.
Things NOT to Do on Your First Day of Work
On your first day at a new job, your company will have both written and unwritten rules of conduct and expectations from its new employee. Part of being a success at work and have the ability to move up the corporate ladder is your ability to fit in the work culture. If you want to be a success, you must leave your old work and social habits behind you. Try to blend into the new employment culture you have joined. When you make an error, just because nothing is said the first or second time does not mean it is accepted.
You only have a few minutes to make a good impression on your first day of work. Dressing sharp will get you in the door. Working sharp requires a special point of view. How you approach your first day at work could define you at the company for a long time.
Once you hang up your coat and sit at your desk, you are largely responsible for the success or failure of your job. If you are bored because nothing has been prepared for you to do, find something acceptable, like read the employee manual or annual report. Ask your supervisor for work, or if you can assist another employee with his or her work.
This article includes examples of an employee who does not respect the rules of the company for which he works. Lack of interest, arrogance or anger can fuel this behavior. In addition, this type of employee is showing an act of entitlement at the job.
Getting a new job brings a level of euphoria to a person. Yet, entitlement is one of the most damaging aspects of a new employee. You are not entitled to thumb your nose at the company rules of conduct. You are not at the same level as the boss, even if, especially if the boss is your friend. You are expected to behave and follow the rules of your peers. The following behaviors will bring attention to you in a harmful way:
Arrive late at work by about 15 minutes
Watch the clock all day, then leave work early
Talk on your cell phone, or listen to your ipod as you work
Read the newspaper until you are told what to do
Finish reading the newspaper after you are told what to do
Give your opinion about current events to the other employees
Play solitaire or update your resume on the computer
Surf the Internet, Facebook, or check your email
Make a lot of personal calls on the company phone, including long distance
Take lunch and stay longer than allowed
Arrive back from lunch either with alcohol on your breath, or drunk
Ask for an advance on your first paycheck
Show up dressed inappropriately (shirt, no jacket, open-toed sandals, etc.)
There is a good reason why most companies implement a probation period of employment. This is to allow the employee time to show that he or she is a team player. You are expected to not only show the ability to do the work, but a willingness to do the work. Respect for the rules and the codes of conduct at the firm are also part of what is expected of you.
The owner and/or your supervisor can act definitively on inappropriate behavior by a new employee. They will try to work with you to bring you into the corporate culture. After you are told what you cannot do, and you continue to do it, the company must mitigate the potential for this behavior to spread. You can and will be terminated before the end of your probation period. Waiting until the three months are over will send the wrong message of tolerance.
There is a lot riding on your first day of work. Your behavior can take you a long way in the company, or a short trip to the door. Be positive and careful not to step on any toes. You must earn the right to be comfortable at your new job. Show restraint and good judgment on your first day. It will serve you well.
A Stay at Home Parent Should be Considered an Occupation
It still takes a village to raise a child, and that village is still the stay at home parent. He or she has the responsibility for raising a child or children from new-birth to college age. It is a multi-tasking job with transferable skills that deserves the respect equal to a parent who works outside of the home and gets paid a salary.
Ever since the feminist movement denigrated housewives for staying at home and not ‘work’ for a living, stay at home mothers and now fathers have been criticized for their career choice. The housewife or househusband has been considered something less than a person who works outside of the home. The title of ‘stay at-home parent’ is what has cheapened the parental position and status in the home. If work is valued by the tasks completed, then a stay at home partner certainly should be considered a highly skilled professional. Working at home should be considered at least the same as having a white or blue collar job.
Our society likes to tag titles on people in the work force. To that end, Family Coordinator or Household Coordinator is good names for a stay at home person. A live-in position, it is expected to be performed on a 24-hour basis, with limited time off. It does not require a degree, though experience through the years should be attributed toward the upbringing of a young life to maturity. If a Family or Household Coordinator had a job description, it would have to include the following duties:
Allow the outside parent to go to work by taking care of the minor children (Day Care Worker);
Read to the children daily for spelling and reading competency, and provide arts, crafts, books, songs, etc for the child’s education (Teacher);
Potty trains the child, do laundry, dishwashing, teach the child how to dress, and keep the child clean as well as teach him or her to clean themselves (Personal Care Attendant);
Cook all meals for the family, introducing new and nutritional foods (Chef);
Complete all duties within the household budget (Financial Manager);
Provide a daily exercise routine through play dates, field trips and games (Personal Trainer);
Take care of the health needs of the children during sickness. Take children to hospital and dentist for regular check-ups. Make sure the children have their vaccinations on schedule (Nurse);
Get the children to and from elementary school through high school. Escort them to play dates and school plays, and teach them how to take public transportation (Chauffeur);
Purchase, prepare and maintain the furnishings for the home (Interior Decorator);
Get bids and work with outside vendors to complete repairs for the home (Contractual Supervisor);
Responsible for educating the children to sociological and cultural behaviors, including etiquette (Disciplinarian);
The list is extensive and can grow longer with the age of the children. The job requires the parent to have the ability to multi-task, learn quickly, have an open mind, a sense of humor, attention to detail, and compassion among other attributes.
In a way, a stay at home parent really is paid for the work performed. Just not with a paycheck with state and federal deductions taken out. Whether called an allowance, given cash or a joint checkbook, or the use of a credit card for purchases, the parent must use financial acumen to ensure that the monthly budget is not exceeded. The stay at home parent shares the salary of the person who works outside of the home. In some cases, it is cheaper to have a parent stay at home than pay for day care. They are both responsible for making ends meet, working as a team.
As in other professions, one must be good at their job. Even though a parent must perform on-the-job training, the success or failure of the job depends on the parents’ skills, whether learned or trained. Failure to do so will cause an employee to be fired. Similarly, if a Family Coordinator does not do his or her job well, the penalty could be the removal of the child from the home.
We must throw out old terminology that serves to demean the value of the stay at home parent. To elevate the stay at home parent to a professional level we must elevate our thought process to acknowledge the many tasks inherent in being a parent that works in the home.
Anyone can say a stay at home parent is not an occupation. In fact, a stay at home parent works as hard as anyone with an outside job. The position of Family or household Coordinator should not be devalued. Our society must learn to give the respect that is due to those at the front lines of child-rearing.
Assimilationism in A Raisin in the Sun, by Lorraine Hansberry
When one assimilates, does it improve the quality of life, or does it sacrifice or damage the spirit and soul of the person who accepts the culture of another ethnicity? This is the dilemma of A Raisin in the Sun, written by Lorraine Hansberry.
In her play set in the 1950’s, there is an African American family living not very well in the South Side of Chicago. Their apartment is clean, but it is dark, small, cramped with five people, and in need of paint and repair.
Mrs. Younger and her husband believed that patience was a key element in working toward a new life. They worked hard for many years, one eventually dying, the other retired in pursuit of that dream. Mr. Younger’s expected $10,000 life insurance check would help the family finally achieve the dreams of the parents. Mrs. Younger believes that leaving the ghetto to a house in the suburbs will help the family’s quality of life. She seeks assimilation for a higher level and standard of living, not just daily survival. That assimilation also happens to be in a white neighborhood, a fact that appalls the entire family.
Each family member has his or her own dream of what should be done with the money. Walter Lee, the son, wants to assimilate most of all. His dream of owning a liquor store is the epicenter of the play. Every family member is forced to respond to Walter Lee’s business ambition. It’s all he talks about every day. Coincidentally, it involves a substantial financial investment with his other partners.
Walter Lee, who must chauffeur his boss around all day every day, has no patience to wait for his dream to be fulfilled. He is tired of working for The Man, and wants his own business. His dream to assimilate is so powerful, he overlooks who he is dealing with, the details of the liquor store business investment, and the possibility that one person’s dream is another man’s hustle.
The daughter Beneatha swears she does not want to assimilate. However, her foot stays firmly in both worlds, safe either way she chooses. She is not studying to be a schoolteacher, the traditional career for African Americans in those days. She has not entered missionary service. Rather, she attends medical school. Her boyfriend George Murchinson, an African American man, is so far assimilated that he taunts Beneatha about her stand against it. Yet, she continues to date him. Despite flirting with an African suitor who encourages her to seek her African roots, Beneatha’s dream is to use the insurance money to finish medical school.
Ruth, Walter Lee’s wife, just wants a better life. She wants to support her husband’s dreams, but also believes that Mrs. Younger should decide what to do with the insurance money. Discovering she is pregnant, she stays quiet about it. Fearing that a baby may tear the already stressed out family apart, and feeling strangled by her cramped and impoverished life, Ruth almost has an abortion. Unlike most of the adults, she ultimately finds the strength to stick to her values.
Each member almost succumbs to their desires, sinking to new lows. To Mama’s horror, Beneatha declares she does not believe in God; Walter Lee can’t tell his wife not to have an abortion when she tells him she is pregnant again. He also takes the bulk of Mrs. Younger’s insurance money and invests it with his partner Willie Harris, who leaves town with it.
In the end, Mama’s aspiration of homeownership in the suburbs prevails over each member of the family’s selfish and competing dreams. At least for this family, assimilationism seems to be the right decision. It appears to have saved them, just in time.
