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My Opinions
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It's Time Dancing with The Stars Gets Soul
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As the celebrity participants for the 13th season of Dancing with the Stars are chosen, I have a question. Where are the professional ballroom dance instructors of color? There has never been an African American, Latino or Asian ballroom instructor on the show. Why is this?
We know that ballroom dancing is virtually a white institution in America. At the same time, there is certainly no lack of dancing talent in the industry. Is the show even looking for dancers of color?
How do you have required dances like the Tango (Argentina), the Samba (Brazil), and the Cha Cha (Cuba), and not have at least one Latino ballroom dancer? The Jive is an African-American dance established in the 1940’s. Yet, no professional representative has ever been on the show.
I’m sure there must be someone they could find if they made the effort. The show needs to come up with the times. It’s a major shame that they haven’t sought to cultivate diversity in Dancing with the Stars. Professional dancers of color can do more than hip hop and booty popping dances. Call the Arthur Murray franchise and The Fred Astaire Dance franchise and recruit.
Casting should attend annual U.S. Professional Ballroom events. If they can’t find someone in the United States, then look in other countries. It’s just that simple.
Put DWTS judge Mary Murphy to work. She knows ballroom talent when she sees it. Call Rufus Dustin, a retired man of color and U.S. Ballroom Champion, a World Exhibition Champion, who represented the United States in five world championships. In fact, he would make a great DWTS judge.
To the producers of Dancing with the Stars – We are in the 21st century. Rise to the challenge.
Ballroom Dancing Links: www.danceusa.org www.salsaweb.com
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Singer Rihanna Needs a Long-Term Plan
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Rihanna seems to be wearing less and less clothing over the last few years. She is almost naked on stage and in her videos. And with her suggestive dances, wearing almost nothing, it gives me concern about her career on the long-term.
I was appalled at both Rihanna and Britney Spears when they slid up and down a stripper pole in the 2011 Billboard Music Awards. Their clothes and body movements as they sang left little to the imagination. No one seemed upset about it but the Minister Louis Farrakhan. In one of his speeches this year, he called Rihanna’s erotic dancing “filthy” and the people who pay tickets to see her “swine.” Rihanna didn’t seem to be offended by it. Her Twitter response only noted that Minister Farrakhan had obviously watched her before he made his comments. She called him a hypocrite. Rihanna totally missed or ignored the point.
Rihanna started in the music business at the age of sixteen, two years after her parents divorced. She left her home in Barbados to live with music producer Evan Rogers and his wife in Connecticut. He saw potential in her while vacationing in Barbados for his new record label. She did this even though she and her parents knew very little about him. Again, her decision making skills, or how much she wanted to be a star, is apparent.
Clearly Evan Rogers saw her potential, and dollar signs. Rihanna signed with his company, and today she is a mega-star. She also has a self-esteem problem. In my opinion, I think that she needs to get a grip on her career path. Especially with her suggestive dancing and her almost-there wardrobe, there is an accidental wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.
Rihanna shows much more than what Janet Jackson ever did. She deliberately leaves almost nothing to the imagination. Is this is where the music industry is going, with half naked women prancing around pole dancing to music? Even teenage singer Myley Cyrus actually did a pole dance on TV in barely-there shorts singing about America.
Rap artists like Lil’ Wayne are singing more and more raunchy. They refer to women as bitches and ho’s, and about performing acts of sexual degradation to women. Their lyrics are millionaire makers. With her wardrobe and behavior Rihanna, camel toe and all, is playing the part on stage.
Tina Turner wore suggestive clothes on stage. But she left enough for the imagination to take over. Rihanna’s clothes just put it out there. You are almost watching to see if something falls off. Now, songwriter Keri Hilson has decided to join the club. Her fabulous figure and scanty wardrobe has re-ignited her singing career. I have no doubt that others will follow.
No one can deny her ability to sell records. Rihanna has recorded only five albums, but has sold over 15 million albums and 45 million singles worldwide. She has recorded nine number one singles on the Billboard Hot 100 in June 11, 2005, more than any other artist during this period. Since March 18, 2011, Rihanna has sold about six million units of albums and more than 28 million digital singles in the United States.
To me, the more clothes she takes off, the less she becomes a legitimate singer, and more a stripper that sings well. How can you hear what she sings when you are mesmerized by her clothes and body? Am I jealous? No, I am embarrassed for her. I will admit that perhaps that is why she is so popular. We are voyeurs, waiting for the day her clothes just fall down around her ankles, showing all 13 tattoos. Then there will be the usual outrage, blogs, and discussions about the excessive sexualization of the music industry.
I wonder how Rihanna feels when she is asked to wear less and less and perform more like a whore on stage. She seems like she doesn’t care for herself. She looks the same in every video and performance. Dead eyes, with an ‘I-don’t-care’ attitude. I’m famous and a multi-millionaire singer. I’m glamorous, and here just for check.
She is 23 years old. I know she is an adult, but Rihanna, where is your mother? Where is your father? Who will take care of her career for the long-term, when her beauty fades and her record sales dwindle? Where can you go when you’re 35 years old and known for wardrobe you really can’t wear any more? What is your plan?
I hope someday she will wake up and realize that she is in the conspiracy with the music industry to sell records by any means necessary. I hope she has a plan when she no longer gets the good songs to sing. I hope she has prepared herself for the day there is another good singer like her and competing with her. I hope she is saving her money.
As usual, all this is Just My Opinion. I wish Rihanna well.
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What To Do When It's Not Working Out
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He may have started out okay. He had a car, a decent job, and took you out every weekend. Both of you were happy.
Then the problems begin. His car needs a transmission, which he can’t afford to buy. He junks it for parts. He gets laid off from work because the company is downsizing, and he was the last one hired. He is now on unemployment. He didn’t save a lot of money for a rainy day. He has credit card debt. So even with unemployment insurance, he is broke.
He wants to make a contribution to the household, so he begins by fixing breakfast, doing the dishes, cooking and cleaning the house, and does the laundry. He drives you to work while he looks for a job, then picks you up promptly every day. This doesn’t last long, as his frustration over not having a job and money diminishes his ego and self-esteem.
You try to compensate by allowing him more and more time to find a job. Because he has his own bills to pay, you pick up the household expenses for what you think will be a short time period. Months go by. He is now very comfortable with his new situation. He has stopped doing the chores around the house, and uses your car more and more for various suspicious trips. Slowly but surely, your money is his money, and his money is his money.
What to do? You need a game plan. Here is some advice for when your man becomes a dependent:
1. A relationship is supposed to be give and take. However, if you are the only one giving and he is doing all the taking, you have a lopsided love affair. If the two of you can’t get to a meeting of the minds as to how to negotiate and equalize the situation again, even under different terms, the relationship is doomed.
2. Discuss the changes in your relationship, and how it is affecting both of you. Do it before you get angry and he gets defensive.
3. Communicate - Be specific about what you want from him. Write it down so you get your points in even if the conversation gets heated.
4. Explain your expectations in the relationship. You may have to do this several times. Broke men without a car and money tend to hear only what they want to hear
5. Treat him as a man with responsibilities to the relationship and the household. Don’t emasculate him during his down period. Let him have his dignity
6. Make him continue to financially contribute to the household expenses at a lower level until he gets back on his feet.
7. Don’t pay his cell phone bill. If he can’t afford a monthly bill, he should get a pay-as-you-go-phone until he gets back on his feet
8. Let him use his own transportation – his feet. Or, make him pay for the gas and oil
9. Don’t try to get him a job. He will resent the effort, and resist doing a good interview. Let him find his own job that he wants to do
10. Give him a reasonable deadline to get his act together, then, stick to it. Put him out after giving him a thirty day notice
11. Don’t stop going out or sit around the house with him all the time. Live your life.
12. Remember – we are talking about a non-deserving man. Love doesn’t pay the bills. If he doesn’t care enough to get back in the game with you, he needs to go before you end up hating him, and disappointed that you didn’t do any of the things discussed here sooner rather than later.
Good Luck with Your Plan!
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Go To The Doctor!
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I have been working on a revenue producing web site called www.answerspay.com. Subscribers ask questions and contributors answer them for a piece of the revenue raised by the quality of the questions and answers. This is a relatively new web site, established in February 2011, and still has its kinks.
What I have noticed is that there are a lot of questions about aches and pains and whether or not they should see a doctor. The questions go the gamut from mild headaches to anxiety attacks to moles changing color.
Everyone should have a doctor. Whether at a hospital, a health clinic, or private practitioner, the older you get the more you need a doctor. If there are significant or persistent changes to or on your body, you should see a doctor. If you are in severe pain, see a doctor.
I know health care costs are through the roof. Still, a visit to a doctor early could save a big problem later. By the way, if you have the flu or a hacking cough, stay home from work and see your doctor. I was in a Walgreens and saw one of the clerks stocking products sneeze all over the boxes in an aisle. I immediately left the store, grossed out. I didn’t want her germs on something I could perhaps take that she had sneezed on in another aisle.
If in doubt, don’t self-diagnose your problem. See a doctor or please stay home from work until you are well.
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Just My Opinion 2011
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So happy that "Dancing with the Stars" Wendy Williams out of her misery. As a dancer she's a great talk show hostess.
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An Open Letter to R&B Artist Chris Brown
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The act is so tired. Once again, singer Chris Brown, you lose it. You tore up the Good Morning America dressing room, threw a chair and broke a window and basically had a temper tantrum after your interview with Robin Roberts.
Roberts asked you a few questions about the Rihanna incident. Mind you, you had given her permission to ask a few of those questions in advance. Although you tried to focus on your new CD, Robin continued to ask about the 2 year old incident. Once the interview was over, you stormed in your dressing room, screamed at the top of your lungs, and broke a window on the 43rd floor with a chair.
Security was called, but not before you ripped off your shirt, left the building, and didn’t return for your second song. While leaving the building, you allegedly stared down a producer, up in his face, until others had to get between the two of you. The news spread faster than a California forest fire.
You are on probation for five years. I don’t think that was on your mind. You can’t seem to be able to control your temper and violent outbursts. You made a good point, though about the interview. Charlie Sheen gets away with doing whatever he wants and is called a bad boy. Everything you do is looked at through a microscope.
Well, Chris, you aren’t Charlie Sheen and you don’t have Charlie Sheen clout and money. When you make as much money as Charlie Sheen does for his studio, you will be able to get away with some things, too. Charlie pays publicists and lawyers to help him and do damage control when he does something stupid. Clearly you do not. Here are a few suggestions you need to think about for your future:
- Grow up already. You are not 14 years old; you are a grown man. Stop acting like a spoiled brat. No one will focus on your music when watching you act like a crazy person is so much more entertaining;
- Get a new manager. The one you have is failing you big time;
- Get a new publicist. If you do not have one, hire the best firm in the entertainment business. Someone needs to help you respond to tough questions in a responsible manner;
- Get a good lawyer that will cover your back when you act crazy, like tear up a dressing room, break windows, and walk down the street with no shirt on;
- Nobody likes an angry Black man. Nobody will pay an angry Black man who destroys property. Go back to anger management classes, or begin therapy;
- Stop with the tattoos. You look like you’ve been to prison. Even 50 Cent removed his tattoos so he could do acting jobs;
- Talk to some entertainers that can give you support and some perspective about improving your career;
- Leave your clothes on. Walking down the street after ripping off your shirt and sending naked pictures of yourself over the Internet are not classy things to do;
- Your clean cut image is history due to your behavior. You are still spiraling out of control. People now call you a thug. This is why you need a new manager. You seem to be out there on your own with no direction;
- Stay off Twitter for a while. You tend to speak without thinking first. Once it goes on the Net, it’s out there forever;
- It’s called Show Business, Chris. If you can’t sell records because of your personal life, you will no longer be an asset to your record label. Get it together before it’s too late, or your next album will be called, “Former Artist’s Meltdown Exit”.
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Juan Williams is Wrong
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Fox News Commentator Juan Williams made the news again this week by stating that extending unemployment benefits for America's jobless would weaken their value systems. Read Williams' words in Dr. Boyce Watkins’ blog:
"Because employers, potential employers, will look and see that gee, they've been out forever, it doesn't make sense. And I think that's partly playing in to this cycle. And at some point then it becomes a matter of you lose your work ethic, your values are impacted, you know, getting up, showing up, dressing well, all that good stuff. So I don't know that that's smart."
He’s making two million dollars at Fox. Are they telling him what to write? He has lost his moral compass when he says that extending unemployment benefits will not benefit the poor. Clearly he has never had to live off of them. They do not cover any of the bills a person needs to pay to stay out of the poorhouse.
Millions of people will lose their unemployment benefits if Congress does not vote to extend them. I find this attitude during the holidays to be irresponsible on their part. They are holding up our benefits in exchange for receiving tax cuts for the rich. I guess that includes Juan Williams. He knows where his next meal is coming from. He doesn’t have to worry about paying the mortgage and utility bills. Isn’t that why he defected to Fox News? Now that he is financially solvent, he dares to talk about what poor people will do with $250 a week in benefits.
Mr. Williams, take the hand out of your back, and stop being a dummy for Fox News. You just might feel better about yourself. Just My Opinion.
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Keep Your Kids Close By
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I was in a health center the other day. As I sat in the waiting room, I made eye contact with a toddler, about 14 months old, sitting near me on the same bench. She was a cute little child, with a smile like an angel, and pretty eyes that glistened.
We connected immediately, as I waved to her, and she waved back, smiling the entire time. Her mother, who was holding the toddler in her arms, was happy as she watched the two of us play. She was called into another room, and I waved good-bye to the baby in pink as they disappeared. I stayed in the waiting room area.
Soon, after, I saw the baby leave the room where her mother was, and start to roam around the hallway. We've seen this all the time; a baby escapes from his or her mother's arms, and wanders around to amuse him or herself. We adults simply regale in their glow. We laugh and smile as the baby falls, laughs afterwards, gets up, and starts to wander around some more, until the mother comes and collects her charge.
What bothered me was that the toddler started to head in my direction, smiling all the way. I smiled back as she tentatively worked her way toward me. She stopped at one point next to a chair, and stood by it, all the time checking me out. I could see in her eyes that she was trying to decide if I was acceptable for her to approach further. She wanted to, as we had a positive experience earlier in the waiting room.
My prayers that the mother would show up soon were answered, as she discovered her baby was out in the hallway, and went to collect her. The mother smiled at me as she picked up her gorgeous child, and they went back into the room. The baby waved her little hand to me as she left.
I was frightened at the thought that in those few minutes, that baby could have been abducted. What if I wasn't such a 'nice' person? What if I was a predator, or a kidnapper, or even a pedophile? I could have easily walked off with the child. The scenario I just described could have turned into a nightmare. It gave me goose bumps of fear.
I am not a parent, but I see parents straddle the delicate line between being a nice person, by allowing strangers to have casual contact with their children, and being a little wary about strangers interested in their children. Lord knows, how a mother or father can tell the difference between a good person and an evil one is beyond me.
My primary point, to get back to what I really wanted to say, is that the baby would have gone with me. If we had just a few more minutes together, I know that toddler would have gotten over her initial fear of me, and come to me. That recognition scared the living daylights out of me.
Parents, keep your children close to you. Don't let them roam around somewhere where you can't see them. This is how children get kidnapped. A simple, friendly gesture could actually mask a hideous monster out to get your baby.
I salute every person who is a parent, as these are dangerous times. Those of you who can manage to raise a child to adulthood intact have my deep respect.
Keep your children close. Just My Opinion.
 
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Just My Opinion
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* Fear is the #1 killer of dreams - T.D. Jakes
* I think comedian Katt Williams is one fine, very talented brother. All he needs is a microphone and a stool to work his comedic magic. Now, if he could only get his personal life in check...
* Chris Brown - Please Shut Up! Do what you do best - create and perform music.
* I think the Ped Egg is one of the greatest inventions in this Millenium. It really does what it says it does!
* I believe that every high school student should be required to take a CPR class before graduation
* I believe that the use of cell phones and text messaging while driving a car, van, suv, etc. should be banned. Too many people are losing control of their vehicle because they are unsuccessfully trying to multi-task, and are too distracted on the cell phone to notice they have just run off the road and into a house. People: Pull over and make your calls and text messages! I'd like to have a fighting chance of making it home every day.
* Creative inspiration is difficult to find, but once it lands, it is a beautiful thing to have.
* I believe that there should be a law that no one is allowed to get married until they are 29 years old. The level of maturity and sense of responsibility just isn't there before that time. Let people grow up and have their fun before they settle down to a spouse and kids.
* Whenever you get in bed with the Devil, he's going to want sex.
* A drunk man speaks a sober mind.
* Credit cards are financial slavery.
* If the only way you choose to refer to your man is "Mother Fucker", then you need another man.
* If your man wants to make love, and your response is, "Fine. Let's get this over with", then your relationship has a problem.
* The absolutely worst time to take any test is when you have explosive diarrhea.
* If someone tells you he or she will pay back your personal loan or their rent with their income tax refund, kiss your money good-bye. It almost never happens.
* Poetry doesn't have to be complicated. It just has to touch your heart.
* If you have been living with your lover for more than two years, and he or she still does not want to get married, and you do, even if you have an engagement ring, you might as well move out. That person is still waiting for someone better to come along. If you want to test it, insist on a wedding date, and see the stuttering and 'explanations' begin.
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The Six Month Rule
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I am a strong proponent of the "Six-Month Rule". It says that if a romantic relationship can hold up for six consecutive months, it may have a good chance of long-term survival.
No one should move in with anyone until the six month period has passed. If you do, you could accelerate too fast for the relationship to develop and bond. Moving in together too soon is one of the main reasons why relationships fail. It is also dangerous, if your lover has anger management, stalking, or infidelity issues.
Take time to get to know your lover as a person before you jump in bed with him or her. What annoys him? What about him/her annoys you?
Insist that each of you take an HIV test before having sex. You'll never regret taking the test. HIV is a lifelong regret.
It's easier to break up with a person and each stay in their own apartment, than to move in together, then have to find another apartment so you can move out. I believe that a couple should wait six months before co-habitating.
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Behavior That Drives Me Crazy
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- Men (usually) who come to work first thing in the morning with dirty fingernails. Did they have to plow a field before going to work? Did they wash up, and if they did, how did their hands get missed? Was soap and water used? This really baffles me. I always wonder if they have a wife or girlfriend. If he does, what is wrong with her? She should check her man's hands and look behind his ears every day before he is allowed to leave the house. Obviously, the man needs attention and a wash cloth.
- People who cut a line, then pretend they didn't realize they were cutting ahead of everyone else. If you don't say anything, they get away with it over and over again. This is why we have guard rails at places like Burger King, the bank, etc. to keep the unruly and rude people in check.
- People who sit on the outside seat on the bus. Then when you want to sit down, get all huffy that they have to get up to let me in. Why should I stand up, when they are taking up two seats? Scoot Over!
- People who get on the escalator, then try to walk up like they are stairs. They get upset at those who want to merely stand on the escalator and let it carry them upstairs. Hey, Buddy, if you want to walk up some stairs, stay off the escalators!
- People who shake hands like a limp tissue. You try to grip on, but there's nothing there but skin. If you're not paying attention to the hand shake, you could accidently break bones in the other person's fingers.
6. People who hate their jobs, work with the public, and take their negative attitude out on me drive me crazy. I'm just looking for some service, not your attitude. If you hate your job, get another one! Don't just sit on your behind and make life miserable for everyone around you. Get a Better Life. But until you do, keep your bad attitude, your disrespectful tone of voice, and your eye-rolling to yourself, thank you.
7. People who get on the bus or train, then talk on their cell phone like they are at home. Especially theignorant ones who swear and loud talk about who shot John, and what she's going to do to him when she gets home. Then you you stare at them, they look at you like you're the crazy one. Well, if you are going to talk so loud so that I can hear all your business, then I damn well am going to listen!
 
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Familiarity Breeds Contempt
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A representative from a credit card company called me the other day. He very politely asked for me by name. My first and last name was used. Once I stated he was talking to the person he called, he proceeded to discuss an overdue bill, one that I had already paid. No problem.
Suddenly, I noticed he was referring to me by my first name. Mind you, he had initially introduced himself by his first and last name. Still, he felt comfortable enough to believe we were on such good terms, that he could be familiar with me. I finished the conversation very quickly. When I hung up, I was angry. Just because I owed a bill was no reason for him to automatically call me out of my name. He did not know me at all.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I do not like a stranger to address me by my first name. I do not know why a person who has never met me, nor even seen me in person, would start a conversation by calling me by my first name. I firmly believe that only certain types of people will do this.
I started to notice this when I first entered the middle management side of business. I originally thought that perhaps it could be a cultural thing. I know for example, that in certain male dominated cultures, a man will refer to a woman by her first name. For the man, he does not have the respect for a woman in the sense that she is not considered his equal. Therefore, he believes he can be socially familiar, even in a business setting.
In the book and TV miniseries ‘Roots’, the African slave Kunta Kinte was forced to have his given name changed completely. He was beaten and whipped until he submitted to his new, more Americanized name of Toby. By the stroke of the whip, his culture and familiar heritage was wiped away through his name change.
In the nineteenth century in the United States, a white person did not have to respect any black person at all. Last names were those of the slave master. The first name was also given by the slave master at birth, and recorded in his journal of properties. He named you, and he could call you as he wished. African Americans were always referred to in the first person (“Come here, Bertha”), while slaves were required to either “Yes, Sir” the person, or preferably say, “Yes, Sir, Mr. Rhodes”.
In the fifties, the comedian Jack Benny and Rochester had a similar understanding of each one’s role. Jack called his valet by his first name of Rochester, while Eddie Anderson (his real name) called his employer Mr. Benny. Rochester was allowed to banter insults and make jokes at Jack Benny, as long as he maintained his place in the culture of that era.
Outside of the United States, there are other cultures that historically consider being respectful of a woman as mandatory. In some cultures, such as Japan, age is considered worthy of respect. One would never think of calling a 90-year old woman “Sally”. She would be referred to by her last name, either prefaced by Miss or Mrs., or at least called Ms. Sally.
In business, it is considered a formality to call a person by his or her last name. Businessmen and women know that the formalities of corporate etiquette are critical in successful business communications. A faux pas in the manner in which one communicates with another at different levels of the corporate hierarchy could keep one from climbing the corporate ladder. Apart from the corporate hierarchy, familiarity in communication is a symbol of status, power, and ones’ place in the world. There are those who would judge a person who uses first names casually at the same level as a person who murders the English language by saying, for example, the word “irregardless”, instead of “regardless”.
Some people can get away with being familiar from the start. Still, even those who have been well brought up will ask for permission. That’s why they are usually leaders. Once introduced, the person is always referred to by the last name until given permission. “Oh, you can call me Robert” one would say. If you were granted such an honor, it was and is a symbol that you have the respect of the person. Think about employees who automatically call their boss Mr.. Smith, or “Boss”. Do you remember the first time your boss allowed you to call him (or her) by his/her first name? Remember how everyone else reacted when you referred to your boss by his first name to his face?
I admit that once a person has decided to become familiar with me without my permission, the level of conversation has changed for me. The respect I may choose to give that person may change by what level of respect the person has chosen to give me. By familiarizing him or herself with me, especially in a formal setting, it causes me to believe that the person has already made a decision about how we will work together. I usually find that I am correct. Their subsequent behavior usually follows the pattern of their instant familiarity with me. That is why I will correct them immediately. No sense in encouraging bad behavior from the start.
To me, my first name is a personal point of boundary. It is as personal as my physical space. I believe that when one violates formality, the same if a person were to violate my personal space, that person should be corrected.
I also have a strong pet peeve about others taking my name in vain. “My name is Carolyn, not Carol.” I only allow my family or people I consider very close friends to call me Carol. My family and very close friends are very aware of this policy. In fact, when they hear someone outside of the family refer to me as Carol, and I do not correct the person, they automatically know the person’s status with me.
There are people who do not know they are being rude when they shorten your name. Why should anyone think a person likes having their name shortened, or given a nickname without their permission? If a man always refers to himself as Anthony, one should not automatically refer to him as Tony. That could be a fighting word for all you know. Ask, “Do they call you Tony?” That would be nice. Ask permission for a change.
Some parents have attempted to circumvent the nickname phenomenon. I know a Chris (not Christine), a Tony (not an Anthony), a Bill (not a William). They have the opposite problem. When Tony, for example, receives correspondence, he usually finds his name as been lengthened to Anthony. As if he did not realize that his name is been abbreviated on purpose.
By the way, I always cringe inside when my family or friends call me Carol. But, allowing that level of familiarity is okay when it comes from family. You know they do so out of love. And they know that you allow the nickname out of love. “I can call her something no one else can. So There!”
I know there are those of you who think I am making way much too much over this. You probably do not have a name that has been changed into an abbreviation. At least now you are aware that for some of us, familiarity does not breed content, but contempt.
So, the next time, before you try to become prematurely personal with a stranger by calling her Sue or Bev, think, “Do I feel lucky today? Or, should I play it safe, and ask permission before I become familiar with this person?” You might actually find yourself at a higher level of communication and cooperation if you ask permission first.
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Even Steven
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I don't like people who do things for me as a favor, then remind me that I "owe" them later on when they want something. Invariably, what they also want is for you to do something that is entirely out of proportion to what they did for you.
If you helped me get a bank loan because you knew a person who could be helpful to me, then I shouldn't have to drive the getaway car when you want to do a bank robbery. The two favors aren't equal in scope.
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